I kept a log of my time traveling home. I will post it, raw and unedited, as a blog as soon as I got the land of the 4G (that was a terrible pun on the word “free”)
1 PM: Landed at London Heathrow. Took the bus to terminal 5. Got in line for my boarding pass. Was disheartened by the length. There was a grumpy man in line behind me. Lots of swearing and grumbling. General lack of happiness from his direction.
2 PM: took a chance, after an hour in line, and asked if I was, in fact, in line for a boarding pass. I was not. While I was a bit upset with myself for being the biggest idiot in the world and standing in that line for an hour, I was happy to get away from the grumpy man.
3 PM: cleared security like a champ. Got a smoothie that looked like I threw grass in a blender. It was everything I could ask for in a drink, except for the lack of caffeine. I followed it up with Starbucks.
4 PM: remembered that I had a few coins left from my last trip to London. Bought the most expensive chocolate bar I could in order to spend it. Boarded plane.
5 PM: Decided to watch a movie solely because one of the main actors had a ridiculously Irish name. It’s about Melville and Moby Dick. Was incredibly interested until they killed a whale and showed all the gore. Was brutally reminded why I have remained a vegetarian for so many years. “Fish are friends, not food.”
6 PM: Slowly transitioned to the live-interactive flight map to not show my weakness to the gentleman next to me. I need all the street cred I can get if we crash on a deserted island. They can’t know I am restricted to pacifism by my crippling blood phobia. Listened to a podcast about extinct creatures and now want an Irish Elk. They are extinct and I’m out of luck.
7 PM: Had an existential crisis about what happens to the time I lost in this flight. I left at 4:50 and I will be arriving at 7:40, with a flight time of 7 hours and 10 minutes and a time difference of 5 hours. Do I age in that time? Am I existing in a void? Is this the key to eternal life? Had a really nice piece of bread with cheese.
8 PM: The flight is long. I have picked up where I left off with the whale movie. Finished the whale movie. Checked the flight map, we are now 6 minutes ahead of schedule.
9 PM: we have reached land. Well, 40,000 feet below. I filled out the customs form, getting confused by the switch back to month-day instead of day-month.
10 PM: decided to give another movie a try. I picked Macbeth, one of my favorite Shakespeare plays, and a potential piece for my senior honors thesis next year. I have a half-eaten sleeve of cookies that I am incredibly tempted to dig out. Turns out movies are not my thing and I gave up and listened to a podcast about left handedness.
11 PM: I have been trying to win a game of solitaire for the past 30 minutes. I am losing hope.
Midnight: I have literally been trying to win ONE game of solitaire for over an hour. Update: I have been thwarted as I must stow my screen for landing. I’d rather land than win solitaire though, so that’s fine.